Written by Lance Lasheras

After 10 years in development hell the world was graced with Duke Nukem Forever. It was a misogynistic, racist, and pedantic sub-par shooter that made critics wonder exactly what the wait was for. The criticism of Duke Nukem Forever is a fantastic reflection of methods much the west has matured over the years. Violence against women is not a taboo subject relegated only to feminists and people brave enough to talk out against it. We’ve advanced significantly baby!

Blatant Army of Darkness rip off or nail biting satire? You decide.?

So why exactly celebrate the re-release of the classic Duke Nukem games on Android? Love ’em or hate ’em, they’re a fundamental part of history that deserve a shelf within the gaming canon. Even if this is an embarrassing shelf.?

Those too young to keep in mind PC gaming in the 90’s overlooked the glory days of first person shooters. Back then Doom blew away audiences and ushered in what would end up being the most widely used genre of game titles today. Sure Wolfenstein 3D paved the way because of its arrival, but Doom caused so much controversy upon its release it directly contributed to the development of the ESRB.

His face appears like it was opting for the Gary Busey look.?

Duke Nukem first appeared in 1991 as a 2-D PC platformer. It had been a mostly forgettable shooter focused on a muscular white protagonist who killed evil aliens (basically every FPS on the market today). Its poor graphics and mediocre sales saw it ported only to MacOS coupled with it not been for a slightly better sequel, it probably would have been the end of the story as we know it.

Then in 1996 3D Realms released Duke Nukem 3D. The game represents a lot of exactly what the gaming industry was concerned with within the 90’s: attitude. Duke went from being an Arnold Schwarzenegger rip off to some gun toting, stripper buying, curse spouting psycho.?On second thought he became Arnold Schwarzenegger as we know him today.?

Triple barrel ‘American size’ machine gun.

Unlike other shooters at that time, Duke Nukem 3D happened in many realistic settings. Huge franchises like ‘Call of Duty: Modern Warfare’ have that game by way of thanking for taking the shooter out of fantasy and Sci-Fi settings and into the real life. Real life littered with giant mutants pigs bent on overtaking earth.

It also were built with a fun arsenal of weapons and special skills the likes of which would be common place today in the ‘Resistance’ or ‘Ratched and Clank’ series.?

At 16 this was possibly the closest you can get to an actual strip club.

Now Duke Nukem 3D wasn’t precisely what you could call an informed game. Some levels happened in porn theaters, where Nukem would throw money at strippers to determine them briefly remove their clothes. It had been also full of popular culture references and crass one liners. In a single memorable moment Duke stares at a ‘Duke Nukem II’ arcade machine and exclaims “I do not have time for you to have fun with myself”.?

Crass attitudes and sexism aside, Nukem 3D would be a shockingly good shooter for the time. The graphics were phenomenal, the multiple paths towards the goal were novel, the enemies were entertaining, and also the entire thing felt like one amazing ride (if you were a teenage boy). It even had rudimentary multiplayer, requiring both opponents to phone each other through dial-up modems.?

So turn off your brain for any weekend and enjoy one of FPS’ most awkwardly treasured artifacts. Sure its crude graphics and attitude may not seem appropriate today, but neither is really a slinky and that we still keep buying them.